Vlog: My Courses in Mario Maker

My most recent addiction has been Super Mario Maker, the Wii U title that regularly has thousands of viewers on Twitch and has allowed gamers worldwide, whether talented or not, to exercise their creative muscles and show everyone how great (or horrible) their Mario-making skills really are.

I am not going to claim to be perfect at this whole endeavor, but I am having fun creating my own courses. The trouble? You need people to give your courses stars to be able to upload more and more courses. My limit is currently 10, and I have uploaded 6 courses, which means I am quickly running out of uploads.

So, here is my attempt to get my courses out there for people to discover and try. I have included videos of these courses (only successful play-throughs, mind you) as well as codes for each of them so that those of you out there that are lucky enough to have this game in your library can search for these courses and play them. I will eagerly follow anyone that decides to play and star my courses, of course, because we are all supportive in our Mario-making endeavors.

So, here they are - enjoy!

Wartime Waterway - 829D-0000-006D-3383

The Airship Shuffle - 7252-0000-0085-1E0A

Castle Climb 'n' Fall - 6819-0000-0072-691F

A Boo-tiful Mansion - B333-0000-00A0-9DEA

Can't Stop ... But I Gotta! - 9FD2-0000-005E-CF0F

The Ride of Doom - 871D-0000-0096-E438

Somebody Make This: An Interesting Take on Harry Potter

Sometime in the middle of reading this, you are going to think to yourself, "This just sounds like some sort of stupid Harry Potter fan fiction." When you think that, please keep reading. I promise - it is all worth it, and the idea is an incredibly sound one (fraught with copyright problems, of course). Please, whatever you do, do not turn away, especially if you are an incredibly talented writer.

Here's how it starts: the story focuses on a Harry Potter super nerd, one that knows the books front to back and how it is all connected. This character could be a male, but would be better suited as a female, because we need for strong female protagonists. For the sake of simplicity, however, I will name this person Jason.

Jason wakes up one morning to find that he has left his bed behind and somehow ended up lying next to a lake. More specifically, Jason is lying next to the lake on the Hogwarts grounds. He is wearing wizard robes and finds a wand in his pocket. Just as he attempts to get his bearings, several Hogwarts teachers run outside to figure out where this man came from and why he thinks he has transported from the "real world" into "the world of Harry Potter." Naturally, the only one that believes his story is Dumbledore.

Upon trying to bring Jason back into the muggle world, they find that some sort of magic has bound him within the Hogwarts grounds. He can pass into Hogsmeade, and into parts of the Forbidden Forest (although maybe we'll find that out later), but overall, Jason is trapped. He doesn't really mind being trapped - he soon finds enjoyment in teaching himself magic while the students at Hogwarts are away for the summer holidays. Some of the teachers help (Flitwick, McGonagall), but some steer clear (Snape ... duh).

At the end of August, a house elf (let's call him Snorky) shows up to tell Jason that he has been brought into this world to help keep the timeline consistent with how it has been told. A force is at play that wishes to change the timeline, wishes to make the world come crumbling down, and Jason is the only one that can keep it the same, given his knowledge of how things ought to play out. This seems odd to Jason, considering he has probably already completely messed with the timeline by talking to the Hogwarts teachers and wandering around the castle doing magic, but he more or less accepts this mission because it's the only explanation he has received for why he is there. He promises to keep people in the castle at a distance and not let them know what he is doing.

Harry Potter shows up at Hogwarts, and Jason keeps his distance, watching how things play out. Dumbledore asks him to help manage the students while he is trapped there, and Jason agrees. He quickly finds a small group of Ravenclaw first years that seem to take to his personality, and he ends up helping them practice their magic and do their homework, learning along with them but always catching on much more quickly, having spent so much time learning things over the summer. He periodically comes into contact with Harry Potter, Ron Weasley, and Hermione Granger, but he keeps it short. He knows they are trying to figure things out about the Sorcerer's Stone and he wants to let them do so on their own, without interference.

Well, Jason doesn't interfere, but odd things start happening that start to derail the timeline. Quirrell almost doesn't succeed in letting the troll in on Halloween, so Jason needs to do it so that Harry and Ron finally befriend Hermione. Malfoy doesn't challenge Harry to a midnight duel so Jason needs to find a way to get the three of them to discover Fluffy. Jason needs to follow Harry into the Forbidden Forest to make sure things go according to plan there, and later, Jason gets wind of a plot to keep Dumbledore away from Hogwarts on the night the three of them go down the trapdoor. He then needs to make sure Dumbledore returns to save Harry, and after that mess gets taken care of, Dumbledore then questions Jason about what he knows and what he is doing, forcing Jason to keep his mission on the down-low but insist that Dumbledore trust him.

By the way, readers: this is the first of seven books that follow Jason in his mission to keep the storyline unaltered.

I haven't thought the details of the next one out yet, but somewhere along the line, he meets Dobby and begins to wonder more about what motivates Snorky in his mission to keep the timeline unaltered. Jason starts getting wind of the force that is trying to derail the timeline, discovering parts of the castle that Harry doesn't discover in the books, all while keeping Harry, Ron and Hermione on their mission to catch the Heir of Slytherin. It slowly begins to build on how and why things are happening the way they are without giving too much away.

The third book is where things get real, because Jason has started to care about these three and knows what he must do: he needs to let Wormtail escape so he can return to Voldemort and bring him back to power. At some point in the book, he lets something happen that shouldn't and pays for it later when Snorky tells him he is going to be "punished" for not trying to fix things. Jason does end up being accused of letting Sirius Black into the castle (Snorky somehow makes this happen) and needs to regain the trust of those around him, all while trying to fix the mistake he made early on.

The fourth book is when he finally derails things in a significant way. He knows Harry will come back alive from the graveyard at the end of the story, but throughout the book, feels compelled to help Cedric survive the encounter. Knowing, though, that Snorky is keeping a closer eye on him than before, he needs to put a complicated plan in action to make it look like he hasn't changed anything, and that this change was completely out of his control. He slowly talks to Cedric and plants ideas in his head, making sure that he does not get to the Triwizard Cup even if he wants to do so. Jason succeeds - Cedric survives, Snorky suspects that he did it on purpose but watches him try to keep things consistent all the while, and Voldemort still comes back to power. Dumbledore is getting very curious about what Jason is up to at this point and hints at the fact that he has figured out that Jason kept Cedric alive.

Jason keeps a close eye on the timeline in the fifth book, knowing he has altered it significantly. He realizes quickly that Harry will not have the same relationship with Cho Chang and attempts to break her and Cedric up. Cedric has graduated from Hogwarts, so this isn't as tough as he thinks it is, but it is still difficult, especially since the DA isn't taking off as well as he thought it might. Cho doesn't get interested in it, and that doesn't seem to give Harry the motivation he needs. This is when things begin to fall apart for Jason keeping the timeline accurate - he ends up changing a whole bunch of things throughout the story to keep Harry on track to end up in the department of mysteries at the end, but because the DA is not as effective, the students are not as well prepared. Jason secretly follows the students when they head off to the ministry, hoping to help them out. He is, however, unable to help them out from the shadows, must reveal himself, and then cannot keep them on track.

Jason, if you remember, cannot leave the Hogwarts grounds, but manages to do so here. He doesn't even think about it until later, when talking with a rather angry Dumbledore.

Several things happen now: knowing that Sirius is going to die, Jason makes the mistake of trying to save him. In his haste to help out in that regard, Ron dies. Yes, you heard it - Ron Weasley dies. Harry's best friend gets killed in the action, and Jason knows that he has irreparably altered everything that follows. They all escape (after Dumbledore has his epic battle with Voldemort), but Dumbledore has had enough afterwards. After his talk with Harry, he calls Jason into his office and demands an explanation, cursing himself for not getting involved in Jason's mission sooner. Jason comes clean, and the book ends with an argument with Snorky. Jason tells Snorky that he will simply try and stop Voldemort, but Snorky hints that he still must not alter the timeline any further. It is then that Jason realizes that Snorky is in charge of whether or not he leaves Hogwarts, when Snorky lets slip that he is the one that let Jason leave and go to the ministry. Racked with guilt, Jason sends Snorky away, lost in his misery and he attempts to figure out hat to do next - work with Dumbledore or cooperate with Snorky.

The sixth book begins with Jason seeing things play out predictably - Voldemort is out in the open, the ministry axes Fudge and brings in Scrimgeour (who still wants Harry as the poster child for the ministry), and the school year seems ready to begin. The big difference - Harry spends the remainder of the summer after recruiting Slughorn with Sirius because, finally, he has been cleared of all charges. He still needs to go back to Privet Drive once more - Dumbledore insists - but he sees more of Sirius and gets his guidance. They can relate to each other on another level now - both of them have lost their best friend and need to work through it, although Harry must work through it while learning how to kill Voldemort.

Jason is still grappling with how much he should change - Snorky insists that many things must remain the same or else Voldemort will win the battle. Jason starts to doubt Snorky at this time, knowing that working with Dumbledore is the best move. He opts to be rather distant to both of them,  however, telling Snorky and Dumbledore only what they need to know to go forward. Both put immense pressure on him to do what the other does not wish them to do, but Jason starts to forge his own path - one that involves helping destroy the horcruxes to avoid any more unnecessary loss of life.

The force that was once trying to derail Jason has long since stopped what it was doing, something Jason really only truly notices at this stage of the game. The force returns, however, when he begins hunting for the Room of Requirement (which he oddly cannot find) so that he can destroy the diadem and make it so that Harry and Hermione do not need to return there later. Late in the story, when Dumbledore is getting ready to take Harry with him to the cave by the ocean (no, Jason still hasn't helped out there because he knows it's a path that will eventually lead them to the correct horcrux), Dumbledore asks Jason one more time to confide in him details about the future, if they can save lives. In a moment of weakness, Jason simply tells Dumbledore not to return to Hogwarts, and to keep himself and Harry safe until the school year has ended.

This leaves Jason (still unable to locate the diadem) to help defend the castle, which he can do now. He has spent every summer training and learning magic, practicing and making sure he can combat fully-grown wizards. And he does this well, along with the Order and the DA. Unfortunately, Dumbledore returns with Harry, as he was supposed to do, and still gets killed. Jason feels responsible for not preventing this and tells Snorky he will no longer work to keep the timeline normal. He will simply work to help Harry and Hermione stop Voldemort by finding the diadem and help keep order at Hogwarts. Snorky laughs at this, knowing that he cannot possibly work from the shadows with what will happen to Hogwarts in the seventh book. Unable to figure out Snorky's motivation, he prepares to be trapped at Hogwarts with the changing of the guard, wondering what Snape will do with him.

Unbeknownst to Jason, Dumbledore has already told Snape about Jason, so Snape is ready to keep him safe. He does it throughout the seventh book very carefully, only helping when he can get away with it and never openly revealing his motivations to Jason. Halfway through the book, things change quickly: the Carrows try to kill Jason, Snorky defends him and falls in the battle, and the DA comes together to defeat the Carrows and help Jason get the diadem. This leaves Jason free to leave the Hogwarts grounds, even free to maybe go home to his own world if he wants to figure it out. He opts to find Harry and Hermione and help them find the remaining Horcruxes, now able to tell them whatever they need to know.

That's when the force that had once tried to derail him, the same one that tried to defend the diadem, finally shows itself. It says it can get Jason home to his own world, but only if he chooses to leave immediately. After some thought, Jason declines, knowing he has made it nearly impossible for Harry and Hermione to kill Voldemort on their own. Losing his only chance to get home, he seeks out Harry and Hermione to help them out.

And help them he does - they manage to destroy every horcrux except for Voldemort himself and the one inside Harry. This is when things get real, because the force that brought him to this world is the same one that tried to derail him for so long - it's the horcrux inside Harry. This horcrux has grown so powerful it managed to pull Jason out of the real world and into the story in the hopes of having him alter the story line and allow Voldemort to succeed. However, Snorky got to Jason before he could do any irreparable damage. The force, the horcrux, does not know to whom Snorky reported, but Jason manages to help get Harry to Voldemort for Voldemort to kill him (and kill the horcrux) despite the work of the mysterious force.

But then the worst happens: Voldemort refuses to kill Harry, finding out from this force that Harry is a horcrux. So Jason must do it, prompting Voldemort to kill Jason. Jason then visits a type of place like Harry does, greeted by none other than Dumbledore himself. This version of Dumbledore has been dead a long time - he died in the original, unaltered storyline and, sensing the awareness of the part of Voldemort within Harry, decides to communicate with a house elf to have Jason fight to keep the storyline intact. He is only able to communicate with this elf once, which explains why the elf became so misguided later on and insisted on keeping the storyline intact after it had become irreparably harmed. Jason has the option of going home to his world or helping Harry fight and defeat Voldemort, because Harry will wake up alone with Death Eaters. Jason, after a painful internal struggle, decides to help Harry.

He ends up helping Harry defeat Voldemort (I haven't worked out whether this is again because of the Elder Wand or not), and the world is saved. Jason is trapped but makes the most of it, marrying another wizard in the epilogue. Harry marries Hermione (to please an incredibly vocal part of the Harry Potter fanbase), the Weasleys are a god-family to their kids, and they all live happily ever after.

Alright, so this all seems kind of strange, but really, a horcrux becoming so powerful it can breach the book and come into the real world? That is probably one of my best ideas ever.

There are still a lot of details to hash out - the whole Deathly Hallows business, how Harry and Hermione continue without Ron, how the rest of the castle perceives and interacts with Jason - but really, this could be amazing. I know there must be some writer out there ready to dedicate the next decade of his or her life filling in the details of this epic saga. I just hope that person somehow stumbles across this blog.

Nerdy Month in Review: August 2015

This August was perhaps the craziest month ever in my life. Between taking care of two kids, preparing for the school year, and taking the family out to Chicago and back, I had little time for my usual nerdy endeavors. I did fit a few things in, though, and I'll sum them up here.

TV
I cannot remember the last time the little lady and I watched Avengers, but the last episode we saw was from the aftermath of the Skull invasion. It was a really fun episode in which we are introduced to Spiderman and the "web" of lies concocted by J. Jonah Jameson at his expense. Spiderman and Captain America were able to relate for most of the episode, since most of the world has no idea that Captain America was being impersonated by a Skull and did not actually want the entire population of the Earth to bow down to them. The headline for The Daily Bugle at the end of the episode, though, as read by Spiderman, really put the episode over the top: "Captain America defeats Spiderman and the Serpent Society!?!?" Comic gold.

I have continued to watch Dexter, but I am still on season 2. Getting in Dexter is tough because there are two young 'uns that cannot watch it, or even walk through the same room while I watch it. So, I need to tuck myself into our breakfast nook in the kitchen with my headphones and laptop while they are playing outside or off doing something else. I had forgotten how great the relationship between Dexter and Doakes is in that season - the writers really did a great job of building up that tension throughout the entire season. I am about to watch the episode in which (spoiler alert!) Doakes ends up discovering Dexter for what he really is, and the episode that follows that is, if I remember correctly, one of the best. I am looking forward to it, but not looking forward to seeing more of Lila at the end of the season.

Season 2 is not my favorite season, but seasons 3 through 5 mark what I believe is the best ark in the entire series, and I bet I'll get some writing in on that.

Video Games
Remember last time, when I said I would play more Legend of Zelda, and more Mario, and more games in general? Yeah, no.

The only game I play regularly is Candy Crush Saga because it's the only game I have time to play, in between being a dad. It's a fun game, and only recently have I found that there is actually a little bit of skill required to get the three star rank for which I always aim. I mean, you don't need much skill - it's still mostly luck - but I have started to develop strategy for levels instead of just mindlessly playing it and hoping for some of the good pieces.

I did sit down and play a depressingly bad game called Chicken Shoot. Seriously, it's bad, and racist, and not well tested, and racist. I would say it's so bad it's good, but it's also racist. Like, really racist, and pointless. I think I might start a series of posts titled "Game You Never Knew Existed," and Chicken Shoot will face my wrath in a much more extended entry, perhaps with some video!

Movies
I spent a rather lengthy blog post on it, so I won't elaborate here, but we did watch Return of the Jedi with the little lady. Please reference my incredibly long rant about the movie from the previous blog post if you are curious as to how I feel about the experience.

We have also been watching the Marvel movies with the little lady, making sure to have good conversations about the violence in them so that we continue to be good parents as well. We watched Iron Man, which continues to age better than I thought it might. Robert Downey Jr. has the role down so well from the get-go that I can't help but feel like it was written for him in the first place. I also constantly forget that Terrence Howard played Rhodes in the first movie. I always get annoyed at switched like that in the middle of a franchise, but really, Don Cheadle has way more fun being a superhero than Howard would have had.

We also watched The Incredible Hulk, the forgotten Marvel movie that, as far as I know, remains canon even though most people pretend like it never happened. I believe there is a Marvel One-Shot that takes care of the loose ends (the fate of Abomination, the tease about The Leader), but I haven't read much because I want to see it, but I also haven't gotten a chance to see it. They should just put them all out on one DVD, or put them on Netflix.

Anyway, that movie isn't great, but it isn't bad. The humor seems ill-placed in it for some reason that I cannot quite identify, even though I feel like each moment succeeds in and of itself. I am glad Edward Norton was recast - Mark Ruffalo plays The Hulk perfectly, with his mannerisms and attitude. I am looking forward to the return of General Ross in Captain America: Civil War - he seemed like such a caricature in this movie that it wasted William Hurt's talents. I hope he's got some good things to work with in the new film.

Books
Reading is tough, since it takes me considerable mental energy to do it and do it well. I enjoy reading, though, and have managed to work my way through The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy and am almost done (I think) with The Restaurant at the End of the Universe. I really hate that there is hardly any narrative thread - I like stories that are clever, not clever (and, I will admit, often humorous) little tidbits that are attempted to be thrown together into a story. It's the same sort of problem I had with Stephen King's It - make a collection of short stories and lose the need to connect it all, since the connection kind of sucks. I am enjoying the books, to a certain extent, but after reading It and Faithful and now this, I am really longing for a story.

(Hopefully) Coming Up in September...
Well, there will be more Dexter, damn it. I will have to wait until at least the little one goes to bed, and even then still sit somewhere all on my own to get through it without interruption, but it will happen. I think getting all of the way through season 3 is an overly-ambitious goal, but getting into season 3 should be doable.

The little lady and I should also continue getting through Avengers: Earth's Mightiest Heroes. She'll want to do it - I just need to remember to remind her.

I will read more - I have consistently read every night before going to sleep for about a week and it will continue. I hope to start Stephen King's Joyland by the end of the month.

Video games? Look for a post that describes a regular Twitch playing time, hopefully every Saturday morning (since it's the only uninterrupted time I can get the TV). Also, as I mentioned, I want to start the new series of posts called Games You Never Knew Existed. I hope I can make it happen, at least once a month, as well as continue going through My Collection of Unfinished Games.

Return of the Jedi Gets More Stupid Every Time I See It

In a splurge of nerdiness I haven't experienced in some time, I not only watched an episode of Dexter today, but also finished watching the original Star Wars trilogy with the little lady. We had watched A New Hope some time ago, and she enjoyed it. We tried to make The Empire Strikes Back a family movie night, but our elder foster daughter checked out pretty early, and the rest of our viewing was therefore disjointed. Also, I think the little one had trouble sticking with that one - it's a much more interesting movie when you are an adult, even if it is one of the greatest movies ever made.

Our viewing of Return of the Jedi marks a return to the atmosphere we had for A New Hope - one in which the little lady was completely interested. I know she's interested when she is making way too many damn comments and asking way too many damn questions. I don't resent her doing this - she is nine, and is more interested in things than her brain has capacity to fully comprehend - but man, does it get exhausting. I just get into the movie, and bam, I'm answering twenty questions just as the lightsabers come out.

This movie has always been the one I remember the least. About ten years ago, I bought all three of the original films when they came out on DVD for the first time. I barely remembered what happened in Return of the Jedi - the other two films were much clearer in my mind and far more memorable. I did, however, watch it and enjoy it thoroughly. Some parts were moving, others clever, and overall, I felt it was a fitting conclusion, more fitting than I remember it being, which wasn't hard - as I already stated, I didn't remember much.

I have watched it probably three times since then, and each time, I think it gets worse and worse.

Don't get me wrong - I enjoy the movie. As far as movies go, it isn't bad, but it also isn't really all that good. In terms of movie-making, it doesn't have as much fun with the characters as the previous films did, relying more on spectacle than anything else. The characters feel different, and so many of them take unexpected turns in their development. The goofiness factor rises considerably and things don't seem timed very well. Overall, there are some distracting flaws.

But let's not get ahead of myself - here's the play-by-play.

The movie begins, as I always forget, with Darth Vader arriving at the new Death Star and stating that the emperor himself will soon be joining them. The emperor has appeared before - one scene in The Empire Strikes Back, if I recall correctly - but the little lady doesn't remember this. I take this time to tell our foster daughter that the emperor will show up soon. She nods and understands. I hope I have eliminated some questions for later.

We then get to spend what is always a surprising amount of time at Jabba the Hutt's palace. I have for a long time touted this whole opening sequence as among the very best (I will no longer be doing this). It's an exciting, tangled web of a plan that seems to have been concocted over some long period of time. So long, in fact, that Luke has somehow become a verifiable Jedi Knight with abilities we never saw him acquire with Yoda. It's been so long, in fact, that Lando has wormed his way into the place as a guard, right underneath Jabba the Hutt's nose.

Wait, it's been this long? Have they really been spending this much time trying to free Han Solo? Aren't they fighting the Empire? Han Solo must be pretty freaking important to the Rebellion if they are going to spend this long trying to get him free.

About a third of the movie is over before this entire sequence ends, moving on to what is effectively another movie. Han Solo is no longer blind, Boba Fett dies in a silly way (the first over-the-top goofiness of the movie, and unfortunately not the last), Luke shows that he can hack and slash his way through any crowd, and we all get to stare at Leia in her golden bikini. All this opening sequence seems to do is reintroduce us to the characters and remind us that hey, the gang is back together again and still trying to worm their way out of tight spots. The only difference now is that Luke seems to be a tad pigheaded. Overall, the first third of the movie turns out to be more or less a waste of time.

Luke goes back to Yoda to finish his training ... the training that it seems he has continued since the end of the last movie. Wait, he hasn't gone back to Yoda, and he can use Jedi mind tricks and jump around like crazy? This is where the movie first becomes problematic in terms of time. I am not ignorant enough to ignore the time problems in The Empire Strikes Back, but as a friend of mine stated to me not long ago, the movie is so good that no one really cares. Here, the movie is not nearly as good, so we care, damn it. Sloppy movie-making makes me so angry sometimes.

We then find out that Leia is Luke's sister, and moments later, when something else is going on, we realize that Leia kissed him full-on, on the mouth, in the previous movie. I have no idea what was happening in the movie at this time - I was probably thinking only kind of seriously about vomiting. I just know that this news was sprung on us so quickly, without any lead-up and barely any hints. It kind of hints at it in the previous film, when Luke is able to communicate to Leia where he is located, dangling among the clouds, but that isn't necessarily a bond - it could be Luke using his mind powers that Yoda didn't teach him. But really, that's it - they just throw it at us, and Luke happens to guess it after just thinking really hard.

This is the first time in this movie that anyone with the Force seems telepathic, or able to see things they ought not to see. Sensing other Jedi's presences seems fair - if you are sensitive to the Force, it seems natural to sense a reservoir of it coming at you from some direction, I guess. But being able to glean thoughts, or see things for which there has been zero evidence? Come on - that's just lazy storytelling. How do we get Luke to realize he has a sister? How do we get Darth Vader to realize he has more offspring? Let's just make them figure it out by reading minds or something - they have the Force, after all!

At some point, they all get captured by Ewoks. A freaking JEDI KNIGHT gets captured by Ewoks and needs to make C-3PO look like he has magic powers to escape? And up to this point, the movie makes Luke look like a freaking pro. Well, except for when he continues to whine about "not being able to do it alone." Those moments bug me, but at least that's consistent with how he has acted ALL OF THE TIME up until this movie. Here's one of the biggest cases of the lack of continuity for the characters in this film - Luke is just no the person we expect him to be. Maybe it kind of works in the case of just this movie, but when your movie exists in a series of films, you need to be more careful. More sloppiness, guys.

It's about this point, after the Ewoks accept them into their tribe and Luke heads off to be an emo mess with his emo mess dad, that I start wondering what there is to care about in this movie. The drama seems to be centered around Luke and his relationship with his sister, a relationship that we do not care about in the slightest. It seems to have been introduced as a way to get more jealousy from Han, only to have an easy way to erase that jealousy at the end of the film. Why has this relationship been introduced? Just because it was alluded to in the previous film? And will it actually be important in the end, as Yoda seems to indicate in The Empire Strikes Back? Nothing pans out here - it ends up being all about Luke and Vader working out their severely messed-up relationship in which they keep trying to kill each other for no good reason.

The next twenty minutes of the movie shifts between the Ewoks doing more than they seem capable of doing, the emperor trying to make Luke angry and Luke refusing to be angry, and Rebel ships getting devoured by the Empire. It is not interesting.

The movie does have some surprises up its sleeve, though, as a few rather poignant moments follow. The first is when Luke seems to be hiding from Vader, only to have Vader threaten to turn Leia to the Dark Side, forcing Luke to get so angry he pops out and goes completely bonkers on Vader. The music works perfectly here, and they choreographed this brief bit of fighting perfectly, watching Vader look completely outmatched for the first time ever. It's jarring when Vader loses his arm, and even more so when Luke glances down at Vader's mechanical arm and then back to his, somehow overcoming his anger as he reminds himself that he is about to kill his own father. It's a phenomenal series of events in a movie plagued by spectacle and "hey, you know these guys, so let's just be goofy" dialogue.

This all gets ruined, though, if you are watching this on Blu-Ray, because when Darth Vader saves Luke from the emperor, he shouts "Nooooooo!" as he throws the emperor down what I affectionately call the electronic pit (don't ask). God, that just ruins the scene. Come on, Lucas, really? Was this entirely necessary? No, not at all - it just sucked the humanity out of the scene, a scene that works because we don't really see it coming.

At least, I don't think I ever saw it coming when I first saw the movie. Darth Vader, up until that point, shows no sign of "having a good side," as Luke puts it. As a matter of fact, why does he do this? We are given no reason, really, and I have gone back and forth on whether I like this or not many times. I am on the opposing side right now - Darth Vader is a ruthless killing machine throughout the first two films, so this sudden shift seems like a sentimental writer wanted a happy ending. More lack of continuity from the characters, I guess.

I think that's what gets me more than anything else - these characters don't bounce off of the screen like they do before. Luke is too confident and it sucks the drama from his story. Han is too good and respectable, even if he still bumbles through surprising storm troopers. Leia acts awesome but gets none of tough-girl dialogue we have come to appreciate from the last two films. Chewbacca makes a freaking Tarzan-yell when he swings on to the Imperial walker, finally crossing the line from just goofy enough to way too goofy. The story is decent and could have been carried by the characters, but it just doesn't happen here, making Return of the Jedi more disappointing than anything else.

Anyway, the Ewoks take down the Empire despite all of the odds being against them, a space battle takes place that we care little about because the Ewoks are so damn cute and the Luke-Vader story is way more interesting, and we get the happy ending we were hoping for. There is one more poignant moment in which Luke burns Darth Vader's body, another moment I will credit to John Williams more than anyone else. He manages to churn out amazing scores for all six movies, no matter how good or bad the actual movie turns out. Kudos to you, sir. Beyond that moment, however, we don't get much. The ending is nice, and as opposed to most people, I kind of like putting Hayden Christensen in at the end of the movie, mostly because it's the best acting the man has ever done. Seriously, he smiles in a more genuine way than he ever did in episodes 2 and 3, and since he never opens his mouth, he doesn't have that acting barrier with which to contend. We still get too many Ewoks, though, which made the little lady happy, but makes me want to die a little bit.

So, why write about this now? Well, it's because of how strong this feeling gets with each repeated viewing of this movie. Sure, it has never been my favorite - The Empire Strikes Back is too good for that to ever have been the case - but my disdain for it seems to grow considerably each time I end up watching it. Do other people feel this way? Do we give this movie a free pass because of how bad the prequel trilogy was? If you can answer those, post it in the comments below, because based on what I hear from other Star Wars fans, I feel kind of alone in how critical I am of this film.

Speaking of the prequel trilogy, that's what we get to show the little lady next, so that we can take her to The Force Awakens in December. Wish us luck as we watch Anakin and Padmé make stupid conversation in Attack of the Clones and watch intense fights get interrupted by terrible dialogue in Revenge of the Sith. Thanks for the memories, Lucas. You horrible, horrible man.

My Separation Anxiety from Nerdiness

This August has been, without a doubt, the craziest August I have ever experienced, as well as one of the craziest months I have ever experienced. Whether I was preparing for the school year (which is now in full-swing), taking care of kids (which has only gotten more exhausting, if possible, as the school year has begun), or driving the family out to Chicago for vacation (I think I came back more tired than when I left), I have been incredibly busy. I have had fun, no doubt, because I am continually thankful that I am surrounded by truly wonderful people. I have found so much of these experiences rewarding, watching the girls continue to grow and being able to share in their happiness and new experiences. I am felt pride at all of the hard work I have been putting in to so many things. There's been positive and negative, of course, but overall, it's been worth it.

I just haven't been able to be a nerd.

Despite the general positivity of my life, I still wish I had time for my video games, my movies, my TV shows and my books. I find myself looking longingly at the abandoned video game consoles that surround my TV which, of course, tends to already be in use when I walk in the room. I stare at my DVD collection, with Dexter staring back, wishing that I had more than 20 minutes to myself at any given time. I read nerdy news at io9 and Kotaku and realize they are discussing movies and shows that I said ages ago I would watch and experience but have been unable to do so. I brought a book with me on vacation - The More Than Complete Hitchhiker's Guide - and read none of it while I was away. None of it.

I had a conversation with a colleague today about the new Star Wars movie. He asked me if I had been reading any of the news coming out about it. Nope.

I looked at movie times at theaters while on vacation and found somewhere Ant-Man was still playing. I thought, "Hey, maybe my wife and I will have some time to go and see it!" Nope.

I got some major inspiration for one of the stories I had been writing, one that involves warring superheroes in an urban environment. I was driving some mindless stretch of highway between Maine and Illinois when I finally figured out where to take the story next. I thought I might have some time to work on it. Nope.

My students asked me if I had spent any time on Twitch this summer, broadcasting my video game prowess for the world to admire. Nope.

I appear to have opened up the flood gates - the bitterness has poured forth for my mass of readers (and by mass, I mean three or four, of course) to consume and bathe in. The space inside me reserved for my nerdy endeavors has been emptied of all that once filled it, cleared of all of the wonderful characters and creatures that help sustain me through many of life's difficulties. Mario's voice feels foreign, the Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. haven't led me along the periphery of the Marvel Universe in months, and my hands, my glorious gaming hands, haven't felt the gentle touch of a controller for some inhuman, horrible amount of time. "How can he live?" many of you might ask. And I might respond, "I know not how I continue along my path, how I sustain myself without the love of that most tempting of mistresses, the universe of nerdiness."

I am, of course, being just a tad melodramatic. I know exactly how I have sustained myself - I have the love of my beautiful, supportive and talented wife. I have two foster daughters depending on me to help get them through what is easily going to be the hardest part of their lives. I have wonderful family and friends whose company I enjoy quite regularly. I have a job that, despite my frustrations with it at times, feels rewarding in the end. I have a lot of things going for me, and I let them keep me going. I don't "need" my nerdy interests to live - I've got the things in life that I've always wanted.

That doesn't mean I am going to tolerate a complete absence of my nerdy interests - we all need our hobbies to sustain us when other things are stressful or difficult. For that reason, I actually managed to watch an episode of Dexter this evening. Yeah, you heard that right - I watched something! I was quite pleased that I could continue on my quest to rate every episode of Dexter (although being just a little over halfway through season 2 is disheartening). So, there is hope that I can still be a nerd, even if it isn't quite to the same extent as before.

So, as I go to bed (I might be able to read a chapter before sleeping - success!), I am going to do what I have been doing to get through the busiest time in my life - I am going to think about the people and things in my life that make me happy, thank some higher power in which I do not actually believe for all of these wonderful people and things in my life, and spend some of my thoughts on the things I plan on doing when I find myself with time to burn. Those things are one of two things: either I will spend some time with my wife (always a priority), or I'll delve into my long mental list of nerdy things that help me unearth a part of me I find very valuable and reassuring. And yes, even if I am screaming at Super Mario 3D World, or grumbling about a ridiculous side story in Dexter, or trying to figure out how much it bothers me that The More Than Complete Hitchhiker's Guide doesn't really have a consistent plot-thread, I still find myself reassured that I am doing something that brings my mind back to a good place.

My Collection of Unfinished Video Games, Vol. 1

Does anyone else start games, go through huge amounts of time when you cannot play said games, and then, when you finally have time to play games, you want to play something else? I am pretty sure I am not alone here, and combined with my need to complete 100% in any game that I play (not that it happens all that often), this extensive list is something that nags at my mind quite often.

Here's a bit from My Collection of Unfinished Games:

Pikmin 2
Approximate % Complete: Probably 95%
Willingness to Return to It: Low
Trials and Tribulations: The game is a solid one, a definite upgrade over the original in terms of the amount of content. I still think the first one is the more solid game - the structure and pacing is amazing, as well as the replay factor - but this one offers a deeper experience (pun intended).

The deeper, of course, refers to the caves. The caves, man. Those things take so damn long to complete, particularly later in the game, and if you miss something near the bottom, you need to do the whole thing over again. Lucky for me, I am obsessive and over-prepared, so I always go in ready for the worst. I am a very conservative Pikmin player, doing everything in my power to avoid losing any of those little guys. Seriously, the noises they make are so sad and pathetic - I feel a twinge of sadness every time I lose one. As a result, the caves aren't usually difficult so much as they are just kind of annoying.

Thankfully, the main story is one part of the game I did complete. I got everything in it, rescuing Louie from the crazy cave monster and finding every single possible treasure out there, as well as filling up my entire creature log. "Huzzah!" I thought, when I gathered everything. "Whaaaa?" I thought, when I explored the menus and found the challenges.

Do you remember me referencing that one guy at Nintendo who has cruel and unusual ideas? That guy that simply must exist, given the existence of the final level of Super Mario 3D World and the Grandmaster Galaxy in Super Mario Galaxy 2? Yeah, some of these challenges are certainly this person's creation. Most of the challenges are innocent enough, simply giving you a bunch of Pikmin and asking you to collect everything. When you get deep into these challenges, though, you run into levels full of water in which you have no blue Pikmin, or fiery levels with no red Pikmin. Moreover, you only get the best rank if you don't let a single Pikmin die. Yes, you read that correctly - they all must live if you want 100%. It should be clear, therefore, why I do not yet have 100% in this game. It is, quite simply, stupid.

Will I ever revisit it? I find it unlikely. The game, while solid, simply gets to the point where I find myself more frustrated than appropriately challenged. If I ever find myself with endless amounts of time (oh man, that's a funny idea), I might consider it, if only because I really don't have many missions left (something like 7 or so).

Fun fact: some guy on Twitch once tried to tell me he beat the whole game, and then I asked about the challenges, and he brushed them off, saying he didn't do them and then moving on to another topic quickly. That guy has not beaten Pikmin 2. Not by a long shot.

Super Mario Sunshine
Approximate % Complete: Maybe 70%?
Willingness to Return to It: High
Trials and Tribulations: I think I've probably restarted this game about 4 times, each time with the intention of finally getting all 120 Shine Sprites. Well, that has not happened. Not yet, at least.

I like the game enough - it's a solid Mario adventure (even if my brother thinks it is a good game, but not a good Mario game) and has its fair number of challenges. It is more difficult than the previous entry in the Mario series (Super Mario 64) but not so tough that I want to throw my controller at the TV. There's variety to the challenges presented, a remarkable amount of depth, and just when you think you've discovered almost everything, it throws a bit more at you (like making you go through those FLUDD-less stages with FLUDD and collect red coins).

It's that final piece that has, perhaps, made me stop playing for large amounts of time. There is so much to discover in this game, including 30 blue coins in every level. I refuse to look up how to do things, or where things are located - I want to find it all myself. So, that makes the blue coin adventure kind of tedious. I desperately want to find them all, and on a good day, I might have the patience to find them. After I haven't had the time to revisit the game for long periods of time, though, I often find myself saying, "Hey, it's time to play something else for a while."

I'll probably get back to this game at some point in the future, when I finish something else (that's funny - me finishing something), but until then, I'll simply keep telling myself that I'l get back to it someday and finally get all of those damn blue coins. It's really a great game, so it would be worth it to get through it all just for some sort of ending screen that is different from the original ending screen.

Okay, so yes, sometimes I look things up.

Fun fact: I watch this game on Twitch fairly regularly, only to be grumpy throughout it because speed runners skip all of the fun things. I just can't be happy.

Mario Kart Wii
Approximate % Complete: Maybe 80%? Maybe 90%? Tough to call
Willingness to Return to It: Very Low
Trials and Tribulations: It seems silly to put a Mario Kart game on this list given how relatively easy it is to achieve everything in most of them. Back in the day of Mario Kart 64, it was simply enough to get gold trophies in each cup on each cc (and unlock those ghosts from the time trials, I suppose) to get 100%. Mario Kart Wii, however, has some additional criteria.

Instead of simply saying, "Hey, you won, here's a gold trophy, it doesn't really matter how you got here," Mario Kart Wii decides to give you a rank as well. Yes, I know - this is not the first Mario Kart game to do that, but it's the first Mario Kart game where I actually thought, "Hey, let's try to do this." I tried in vain for quite some time before throwing in the towel, and oddly enough, it took quite some time before I gave up on this one, even though successfully getting a rank of three stars on each grand prix is closer to impossible than completing either of the other games on this list. You see, in order to get three stars, you need to use virtually no items, avoid nearly every wall, and come in first on every race. This might work if the other racers didn't use items, but to win without using any items, particularly when you work through the higher cc's, is a nearly impossible feat. Screw Nintendo for making it essentially impossible for me to get 100% in this game.

Thankfully, in Mario Kart 8, the star system, while still annoyingly present, works out much more fairly. If you get first on all four races, you get three stars, so maybe I can get 100% on that game. Unfortunately, in games with an online portion, I don't really know what I ought to consider as 100% complete. That's for a later blog post.

Fun fact: I still do battle mode on Mario Kart Wii as opposed to Mario Kart 8 because Nintendo dropped the ball big-time and didn't create battle maps for this game. For those that haven't had the pleasure, you battle on regular racing courses in Mario Kart 8, making it impossible for me to truly put Mario Kart Wii away, despite my annoyance with it.

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That's it for today's piece of My Collection of Unfinished Video Games. In the future, we'll move into some older consoles, like the Game Boy!

How Online Gaming Ruined Gaming

Online gaming, in theory, is a great idea. I like that people from all over the world can compete and see who will reign supreme. I like the idea of a ladder system for those that are serious about the game. I also love the idea of being able to play with my friends that are sometimes hundreds of miles away. Umberto MacJay and I used to play games for hours in college, but now that our adult lives have pulled us apart (what a cruel, cruel world), we need online gaming to continue to be nerds together. Overall, I think online gaming isn't inherently a bad thing, so the title of this post is, perhaps, a bit melodramatic.

It would be an understatement to say that online gaming has changed the gaming landscape. Much like improved visuals in a game have changed the general gaming audience since we got much more realistic visuals in the late 90's, online gaming has brought in a wide variety of gamers from different backgrounds, some of whom might not have been interested in gaming back in the 80's or early 90's. Several gamers I have spoken to aren't crazy about the classic Mario games, which are exactly the games that sucked me into gaming, never to let me escape again (although really, saying Super Mario World, the first game that really sucked me in, is "classic Mario" is probably heresy to some gamers). There is something about this ability to play against real people that draws gamers in, the chance to up the challenge as long as there is another experienced player out there with whom to compete. I don't blame people for wanting that opportunity - I have known plenty of gamers for whom the computer players in a video game are much too easy to defeat. Some people need that extra challenge, that extra kick.

But not everyone, which brings me to my beef with online gaming.

I am a gamer, but don't exactly have tons of time at my disposal that I can devote to gaming. As a result, I end up playing a single game maybe 5 or 6 hours out of a month, an amount of time that does not lend itself to becoming particularly skilled at that game. Take Starcraft 2, for example, the game that Umberto and I play together online when we get the chance (which is maybe once a week). I am serviceable against the computer players in the campaign mode ... on normal difficulty. I can beat the computer in a custom game if they are at hard difficulty, but not reliably. Because of this, I would probably get destroyed playing online - at least, when the original Starcraft came out, that's what happened. Even playing with someone that the game determines is right on level with me (because yes, in an effort to rope in people like me, most games have at least made an attempt to make sure people of similar skill level get matched up to play each other) is not often reliable - I do not have the time to devote to a game in order to gain the type of skill needed to adapt to the behaviors of human players.

So B. T. (you might say), why do you care about playing online? Why not just play offline and not worry about anything else? I can do that, as I do regularly, but the truth is that the gaming market is no longer made for people like me. It isn't designed to serve people that are simply looking for a fun game, a fun challenge, to play in my spare time. Most popular games, as I see it lately, are geared towards one of two audiences: the online audience (League of Legends, World of Warcraft, Starcraft 2, etc.) and those that are looking for realistic visuals and/or a story (the Uncharted series, the more recent Final Fantasy installments, The Last of Us). Sure, those two things overlap sometimes (such as in Halo games, Destiny), but overall, that is what gets people going. Me? Give me a game that gives me a fun experience, whether that experience is alone or with my friends.

When I mention gaming with my friends, mind you, I mean gaming with my friends in the same room. You know, so that I can actually see them and hear them and interact with them. The fact that I am in an increasingly shrinking minority on how I enjoy games with my friends continues to amaze and appall me. So many of my greatest memories of gaming with friends centers around all of us hanging out in my living room (or in my friend's basement, way back in the day) playing games together. Whether we were all experienced gamers or not, we had a blast, which, as far as I am concerned, is what gaming is all about. That doesn't mean I am not interested in games with good stories, or the occasional realistic-looking game, or even those games that have some significant online portions (I am pretty good at Mario Kart 8 when playing online, perhaps the only game ever where that has occurred). There are so many games that are more than just fun that I consider excellent games (most Legend of Zelda games come to mind, as well as the Metroid Prime series), but overall, when I think of what makes a game memorable, it is the fun-factor, and my ability to play it with the people I love.

And this, more than anything, brings me to why I think the popularity of online gaming has ruined much of what makes gaming so enjoyable. I could probably write a post (and still might, at some point) about why this need for ultra-realistic graphics has ruined gaming so much, but it hasn't done nearly the damage the need for online gaming has done. Now that online gaming is so popular, unless a game has a significant amount of online content, too few people want it, and we get fewer and fewer games that don't rely on some sort of online aspect. I think that's the primary reason that Nintendo is not doing as well as it once was - it caters to people like me that enjoy unique, interactive gaming experiences. I love Nintendo games, and I cannot think of a truly bad title that they have made in recent memory without thinking really hard about it. All I get are wonderful memories of Super Smash Bros., Mario Golf, Mario Party, Wii Party, Mario Kart and Perfect Dark, all played with my friends for hours and hours on end. I feel like gaming was once a party-thing, even as recently as a few years ago when the last Rock Band came out. Now, however, that people who sit and play games alone in a room are the core of the gaming market, fewer and fewer companies are making the types of games that were once the reason people would get together and hang out.

Now I sound like I am whining, and I probably am. You can rest assured, however, that I am not about to go on about the "good-old days" and talk about how everything was better in the past - most things were not better in the past. Civil rights in our country has come a long way, as has medical technology and procedures and a number of other important things, so never will I talk about how much better it was to live back when I was young. I will, however, talk about how gaming was once something more than what it is slowly turning into. As games become more artful, they are becoming less imaginative. As games are embracing the technology of this century, they are becoming less and less a way of bringing people together, in the same place, to enjoy each other's company. I am happy that Nintendo doesn't place much importance on online gaming - they are concerned, first and foremost, with the quality and fun-factor of the game. I like that - it makes me feel like someone, somewhere, actually cares about my busy lifestyle and the type of gaming that I get to enjoy in my limited time.

As I have pointed out in previous posts, I know I am in the minority here. I know that my voice alone is not going to change the trend here, that Nintendo is probably, within the next few decades, going to stop making video game consoles (although they will probably dominate the handheld market for years to come). I know that the market has spoken and online gaming is far more popular than what I find entertaining. I will, despite all of this, continue to complain in the vain hope that someone out there will agree, at least partially, with what this need for online gaming has done to the gaming market. I just hope that someone (probably Nintendo) will keep making games that I can enjoy casually on my own and with my friends, so I can continue to get from a game what you should always get from a game: pure enjoyment.

7 Reasons to Visit North of the Wall National Park RIGHT NOW

1. It's Actually Three Parks.

Sure, there's Haunted Forest National Park, but don't forget Frostfang and Always Winter National Parks! Everyone loves picnicking, canoeing, and camping in The Haunted Forest, but, for the more adventurous, the Frostfangs offer hiking, mountain-climbing, and alpine skiing. Or you can get away from it all in The Lands of Always Winter, the perfect place to chill out for a little "me time."

2. The Oldest Forest Service in Westeros

Stop having so much fun you guys! Go patrol that forest.

They've been doing this for 8000 years, and you can bet they're good at it! Friendly, knowledgeable park rangers are always around to point you in the right direction. Remember to check in at Castle Black to pick up maps and brochures, as well as a complimentary dragonglass spearhead. The Watch offers other services at its premier facility, including raven rentals,  guided tours, stargazing instructions, and archery lessons with Ser Alliser Thorne (a real knight!).

3. About that Wall...

It may have been built to keep out wildlings, but now it just keeps in all the fun! Plus, you can ride to the top by winch-elevator, and gaze out over a primordial wilderness, letting the cold and the terror creep into your bones as you feel the weight of your mortality. Hah - We're just joshing you! Take a family-friendly donkey ride over to Queensgate, or simply enjoy the view from the top of the world. It's up to you, and that's what North of the Wall National Park is all about.

4. Good Places, Good People

"Rattleshirt," everyone's favorite
method actor and tour guide!

North of the Wall isn't just for hikers, campers, and outdoor fun-lovers. It's also a world-class resort featuring five star accommodations at Hardhome and Craster's Keep. Every location is staffed by professional reenactors to keep guests comfortable and entertained. Not a bad place to be snowed in with a special someone, or to yuk it up with a band of "wildlings." Or if it's a party you're after, head down to Mole's Town, the "Las Vegas of the North." 

5. Foodies and Chowhounds Welcome

If you think it's all barley stew and boiled mutton, think again! The stewards at Castle Black run a high class establishment, complete with crab and lobster from the Bay of Seals, and fresh game-meat nightly. The cooks have fed clientele, lowborn and highborn, from all over the seven kingdoms. They've even catered to Kings. Just ask Stannis Baratheon how they hosted him and three thousand of his closest friends!

6. A Pristine Wildlife Habitat

It's more than grumpkins and snarks, folks. The farther you get from the wall, the richer the fauna. Safari tours start daily from Castle Black. Just hop on a horse, and you'll see everything from hoary rams to majestic shadowcats. Plus, your inner squatcher can keep an eye out for the children of the forest.

You know nothing of fun...if you haven't
been North of the Wall!

7. Winter Is Coming...

...But it's not here yet! North of the Wall National Park closes annually for the winter, just in case the forces of darkness creep south to cast the world into endless shadow (lol). But seriously, there's no place like Eastwatch-by-the-sea to cool off during a hot summer. Escape that Dornish sun and bring the whole family up North for the wilderness-adventure of a lifetime!

This featured article has been brought to you by OTHERS LLC. 

Nerdy Month in Review: July 2015

On the first of every month, I will recap my nerdy endeavors over the course of the previous month.

July was a hectic month from a non-nerdy standpoint, helping our little lady get through having her tonsils out and adjusting to another foster child in the house. We've also had some pesky visitors in the form of lice and mice, so I have been busy and will continue to be busy. Here is what I did manage to get in, though:

TV
The Little Lady and I have been working through Avengers: Earth's Mightiest Heroes. As of today, we have gotten about 10 episodes into season 2. We've witnessed the Avengers tackle Loki and his invasion of Asgard, the Kree, and right now, the Skrull invasion. The cartoon is epic, far more than the movies ever will be, so for anyone that wants to get into the Marvel universe, this is an excellent place to start (others might suggest the comics, naturally, but if you are like me and comics aren't your thing, then check out the cartoon). I wish they worked harder to get more female superheroes into the mix - we've recently been introduced to Ms. Marvel, a strong female superhero, and Wasp has been there since the beginning, but she fits too many ditzy female stereotypes to really count as a solid female superhero. The comic relief is consistently good, and the series does a good job of recalling intertwining storylines that began at the beginning of the series. Despite the complexity of the storylines, The Little Lady has had no problems getting what's going on until recently, when she got thoroughly confused on who was a Skrull and who was not.

In other TV nerdiness, Umberto MacJay and I are attempting to watch every season of Dexter and rank each and every episode. We spent one glorious afternoon discussing our rating mechanisms and how we are going to rank each episode and present it to all of you wonderful readers. The entire list will probably be available on this blog sometime in the Fall, but don't hold us too closely to that - this is a significant undertaking, and I myself am only about halfway through season 2. I have seen every season except for the final season, which fans were not crazy about, but I am going to withhold judgement until I see it for myself.

Video Games
Where to begin here? I have been playing a wide variety of games over the course of the month, mainly because whenever I finally get time to sit down and play one, it's been so long since I have actually played anything. As a result, I've done mostly gaming without any semblance of a story - Super Mario 3D World, Mario Kart 8 and Super Smash Bros. for Wii U. I already wrote at length about Super Mario 3D World and will spare you anymore details here (no, I have not yet beaten that STUPID OBNOXIOUS RIDICULOUS final level). Mario Kart 8 continues to be a challenge with the addition of 200cc, a ridiculously fast romp through the levels that forces you to change your entire racing strategy. It's like playing a brand new game after being so accustomed to 150cc and the Mirror tracks. I am still missing a 3-star, gold trophy on one of the Mirror tracks, and got 2 stars on one of them (I HATE not getting 3 stars - I usually quit as soon as I don't get first in a race as a result). But, I have enjoyed trying 200cc and silently cursing Nintendo for forcing me to change the strategy that I used over the course of an entire 8-game series.

Super Smash Bros. for Wii U is out and about again in my house because I purchased all of the DLC. Ryu has been a fun addition, and I have enjoyed whipping out all of my old Street Fighter moves when I use him (although really, I usually fall back on using the B button to use all of the special moves to ensure my victory). I wish they had added more locations in the new DLC - I miss the stages in Brawl and Melee so much, the newer versions haven't quite lived up to those - but overall, the game is still a blast to play in a living room full of people.

I spent a lot of the beginning of the month playing The Legend of Zelda: A Link Between Worlds. It's easily one of the strongest entries in the Zelda franchise, and perhaps, at the moment at least, is my favorite of the overhead, 2D Zelda titles (not that it is really 2D, with its gorgeous 3D visuals). I am super glad they ditched the requirement of using the touch screen to control Link. I never finished Phantom Hourglass as a result - my hand would get cramped up eventually, and I always ended up doing things I didn't want to do eventually, because of the odd controls. A Link Between Worlds, while I am not even halfway through, has proven to be a phenomenally deep game. I just hope I have more time over the next month to play it.

The Little Lady has taken over LEGO Marvel Superheroes, although I got pretty far before she decided she was going to play it all of the time. Again, I wrote at length about this earlier, so I will spare the details now, but the depth of the game continues to amaze me. I could wander around LEGO New York City for HOURS and still not find everything, and that's a good thing. The Little Lady has also taken over Animal Crossing: New Leaf, and thankfully, she is no longer leaving all of her stuff lying around town. As the mayor of Koholint, my town in Animal Crossing, I want my village looking immaculately clean. She probably wouldn't have cleaned up the town except I pointed out that, if you go to the Mayor's Office, my secretary points out how absolutely annoyed all of the villagers are about it. Thanks, Nintendo, for making a game that encourages me to obsessively organize things - that almost makes up for changing my Mario Kart strategy.

Movies
Nothing much going on here. We have been having The Little Lady watch the original Star Wars trilogy, and yes, we'll probably show her the prequel trilogy because it is, after all, canon. Then we can take her to see the new one, whether she's still living with us or not. I continue to love how interested she is in virtually everything - it was so easy to get her into Star Wars and keep her interested. She still asks me sometimes why Obi-Wan didn't tell Luke the truth about Darth Vader. She seems very annoyed about that.

We went and saw Inside-Out and both my wife and I bawled while the girls were simply non-plussed by (spoiler alert) the realization that yes, some important memories can be sad and our emotions get more complicated as we enter our teenage years. Pixar's slogan should be "let us entertain your kids while you bawl your eyes out." That damn Lava short-movie didn't help - I honestly thought they would give us a sad ending to that volcano's tale for a few seconds, and thought, "Geez, Pixar, I thought you wouldn't stoop this low after the first ten minutes of Up." Don't worry, guys - it's Pixar, it ends happily, although you still might cry.

Books
After finishing Stephen King's It, I read the not-so-nerdy Faithful, the story about the 2004 Boston Red Sox in which Stephen King was a co-writer. The Red Sox are my one truly non-nerdy interest, although I needed to read Faithful to remind myself that I am still a Red Sox fan after such a horrible season up until now.

It is a good book if you think about it like a short story collection, but overall, it's a mess of missed opportunities and silly storytelling shortcuts, all in an effort to force out some sort of epic story even though there really isn't any need for it. Characters like Henry Bowers (a truly amazing King villain) and Beverly's father (King knows exactly how to take abusive, horrible people and make them somehow more disgusting) are far more terrifying than It, and the backstories and the little vignettes King tells are often far more fascinating than the main story. I want to like this book, but it's such a mess that I have to consider it one of the worst King outings I've read, probably the first one I have read that disappointed me (I haven't even come close to reading them all, and if it matters, my favorites so far are The Stand, The Shining and The Dead Zone).

I am now reading The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy, something I am told I should have read long ago. As a nerd, it's probably criminal that I haven't read it yet, and so far, I am pretty impressed. Some of the comedy within it feels twinged with arrogance on the part of the author, a sort of "oh wow, look at how clever I am" sort of feeling, but enough of it is quite entertaining that I am continuing to read it each night before going to sleep. It's part of an anthology with three other books by Adams, so I'll probably read those too.

Coming Up in August...
My wife and I will see Ant-Man at some point, and I am sure I will just throw all of my wonderful feelings about the Marvel cinematic universe down in a blog entry at some point afterwards. I will continue to read The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy as well, hopefully getting through it by the end of the month, and I want desperately to work harder on The Legend of Zelda: A Link Between Worlds, in the hopes that I can write a Game Profile about it. More Dexter is on tap as well, perhaps allowing me to write an entry about how well it humanizes such a dark character, and adds darkness to characters that are otherwise good. I have also been thinking a lot about online gaming and what it has done to the social aspect of gaming. I have an opinion that is probably in the minority of opinions on online gaming, but hey, I'm going to throw it out there anyway.

Why do I like A Song of Ice and Fire?

{SPOILERS}{SPOILERS}{SPOILERS}

I recently found myself trying to explain to my wife, and to my father (who couldn't get into the books) what it is I like about GRR Martin's stories. And that got me thinking...Why do I like it so much? It's not the sentence-by-sentence writing -- not that I think Martin is a bad writer, but, by and large, I don't find the language especially beautiful. It doesn't, for me, have the musicality of, say, Tolkien's writing. No sentence from ASoIaF has stayed with me like the end of Return of the King : " [The] sails were drawn up, and the wind blew, and slowly the ship slipped away down the long grey firth; and the light of the glass of Galadriel that Frodo bore glimmered and was lost. And the ship went out into the High Sea and passed on into the West." Then again, as Martin has said repeatedly, he's not trying to be Tolkien...He's trying not to be Tolkien.

And why do I love the Lord of the Rings? Well, the writing certainly, but let me scamper to another quotation, this one from Nietzsche. In the words of The Immoralist, "From time to time grant me a glimpse, grant me a single glimpse into something perfect, something completely developed, something happy, powerful, triumphant, from which there is still something to fear! A glimpse of a man who justifies humanity." Perhaps ironically, given the influence of Tolkien's Catholic faith on The Lord of the Rings, Tolkien's great work does just this for me. It grants a vision of beauty for beauty's sake, nobility for nobility's sake, and justice for the sake of justice. Martin doesn't do this, and (I think) he doesn't mean to; he intentionally denies his readers a glimpse of something that justifies humanity, and this is part of the deep allure for me -- But more on that later.[1]

A glimpse of a hobbit that justifies humanity...

So far I've only succeeded in identifying the features I like about a different series than ASoIaF. I'd say there are three general reasons: Firstly, Martin is skilled at seeding his books with mysteries for the reader to identify and solve, and it's a great deal of fun to try to figure out where the books are going and which clues you've missed on the last reading. Secondly, Martin is an impressively subtle world-builder; he lends his world and characters an inner logic without having to spell it out all at once. Finally, he plays on fantasy-readers' expectations of a glimpse of something splendid and perfect; what I find remarkable about his books is that he dashes that hope again and again, but never wholly breaks it.

But to start with, the books are fun. On an obvious level, if you're into sword-fighting, quippy banter, magical creatures, fantasy-stuff-etc, Martin's books deliver. Beyond that, and what I think makes them relatively distinctive among fantasy lit, they are mystery novels of a kind. The first one, Game of Thrones, is explicitly structured as a murder mystery, with Ned Stark trying to figure out who killed Jon Aryn. And that's not the only mystery. We want to know who Jon's parents are, what the Dornish are up to, what happened at Summerhall, and what Howland Reed is doing. Reading the books, especially rereading them, I feel like I'm playing a game of Clue (The Classic Detective Game), sorting theories against the available evidence[2] (Lyanna, in the Tower of Joy, with Prince Rhaegar....Stannis, in the Pavillion, with the shadowbaby). As with a good game of Clue, it's not just a matter of finding evidence; you have to see through lies and half-truths. The characters in the book don't want to share their information with each other, and since all the storytelling is structured by POV chapters, most of the information you get is filtered according to the interests of one character as they address another -- and according to that character's own foibles, deficiencies, loves, and hatreds. This is why Ned Stark would be terrible at Clue; he's show everyone his cards and offer to cooperate. But when you play the game of Clue, you win or you die...

It doesn't hurt that Martin is good at creating sympathetic characters. True, Joffery isn't exactly sympathetic, but you'd have to have a heart of stone not to pity him, at least -- Fathered by an alcoholic manchild who wields supreme power, sheltered from all repercussions by his mother and his station, Joffrey is killed on his wedding day for being more or less the kind of person his parents made him. Same with Viserys: He was a cruel, narcissistic idiot, but was also a teenager and a product of his experiences, and he died horribly with no one left who would mourn him. At any rate, though, most of Martin's characters are a lot more sympathetic than Joffrey or Viserys, but they're more than that -- They're personable. Who wouldn't want to spend an evening in a bar with Tyrion, or Bronn (who's a terrible person) for that matter, or a night walking The Wall with Jon Snow? And I think it's important to the mystery-aspect of the series that so many of the characters, even ones who aren't good, are personable. I find myself attached to these characters on a personal level, and that feeds my desire to know what is going to happen to them.

What I've said so far -- The books are fun. They're fun because they have swords and stuff, and they're fun because they pull readers in with mysteries about characters they like. Another aspect of Martin's series I admire is his world-building. Of course, you don't have to like world-building, but it's an aspect of most high fantasy, and Martin pulls it off with surprisingly subtlety. I'd point, as an example of this, to the piecemeal way we get information about the children of the forest. We first hear about them from Bran's POV, when he mentions that his father "would sit before the fire in the evening and talk softly of the age of heroes and the children of the forest." In the next few chapters, we learn, mostly by oblique references, that the children disappeared a long time ago, and that they have something to do with weirwood trees. Later on, a story told to a Bran indicates that humans stole the children's land. The information stream is gradual, and more importantly it's integrated into the storyline. We get hints about the swamping of the land-arm to Dorne through a description of Moat Cailin. Over time we learn that the children have something to do with magic, and something to do with Bran. Martin works his mythology into the narrative in a way that, by and large, doesn't interrupt the narrative.

I'd be surprised if I were the only fantasy reader who sometimes sees a mythology section coming and skips it for later...It's not that I'm not interested, but I want to see what's happening with the story, not get bogged down in five straight pages of made up history that reads like the KJV. What I really like about Martin's writing is that he provides world-building information as part of his narrative, and he repeats and reinforces that information organically. When Bran finally meets the children of the forest, I don't have to thumb back to a single section near the beginning of the books where we get a bunch of information about them in an epic poem of dubious aesthetic merit.

So there it is, I'm a sucker for world-building, and I think Martin does it well. Add to this that world-building information tends to eventually become important in high fantasy works, and Martin does it in a way that can actually be absorbed by the reader, rather than thumbed-over, or half-remember a thousand pages later.

I said there were three reasons I like the books, though. Martin writes a fun mystery; he's good at world-building...and what? Well, maybe the biggest reason I like ASoIaF is that GRRM is magician at shattering his readers' hearts. More than that, he's good at channeling and frustrating his readers' hopes, and that's what renders certain parts of his books genuinely moving to me.

The world of Westeros is grim, and dark and dangerous, but it's not hopelessly grim. Were it so, Martin's books would not be so brutally sad, nor would they be so interesting. This is why A Song of Ice and Fire does more for me than, for example, the recent DC Comics films. On a certain level, I like Nolan's Batman Trilogy, but it doesn't move me. His films are so resolutely grim that they make me steel myself, rather than open myself up to any pathos their narrative could engender. By the time Bane lays waste to Gotham in the third film, it just doesn't touch me; I know what to expect and I'm ready for it.[3]

Martin pulls us along with hope, like asses after a carrot, or opera-goers after the Tristan Chord.[4] In the first book, before we know how far GRR is willing to go, we have hope that Ned will out the truth, and everything will be set right; he is beheaded. Next we hope Tyrion can bring order to King's Landing and control Joffrey; he is mutilated and cast from power. We hope that Oberyn can denounce Clegane and save Tyrion, and that Robb can learn from his mistakes and become a good king; they both die. Perhaps we hope that Daenerys will ride her dragons across the narrow sea and restore peace to the realm that might have been hers, but so far everything the Dragon Queen touches turns to blood and chaos.

Something still capable of arousing fear...

Even when Martin gives us what we want, it doesn't feel the way we expect. Theon gets his comeuppance, but it's so horrible we wouldn't wish it on anyone. We want Tyrion to overcome his father, but how does that happen? Tyrion murders Tywin on a privy, and then kills the woman he loves before going into exile.

Martin's talent, however, isn't for writing darkness, though he clearly can do that. It's for making us hope when we know better than to hope. Like Tyrion with Shae, we know better, but we fall in love anyway, and we do it over and over. If the night is dark and full of terrors, Martin's talent is for making his readers believe that there is a sword in the darkness, a light that brings the dawn, and a hero to be reborn, even as he leads his readers unrelentingly into a long dark. It's precisely because Martin makes his readers wish and hope, rather than steel themselves, that the red wedding, and Ned's death, and even Joffrey's assassination, are so sad. Winter is coming, but what I find remarkable about Martin's writing is his ability to instill in his readers the hopes of the children of summer.    

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[1] It's also worth noting that it would be difficult for Martin to incorporate such elegance of language, given the way he structures his story into POV chapters. It would be absurd, and bad writing, if a teenaged Viking prince, a northern lord, and a smuggler-turned-illiterate-knight all had an inner monologue that sounded like the refined prose of an esteemed professor of linguistics.

[2] Actually, I'm horrible at Clue. GoT is a lot more fun for me than Clue, but similar in principle. I imagine that people who are good at Clue feel about it the way I feel about ASoIaF theories.

[3] I get the sense that Nolan's trilogy, among other contemporary films with aesthetic aspirations, mistake grimness for aesthetic merit. Of course, terrible things may be aestheticized effectively, but horror and sorrow aren't prerequisites for beauty or sublimity, else Mozart's Night Music would be rather trivial.

[4] This refers to a musical tension which Wanger maintained throughout his opera Tristan und Isolde, and which is never fully resolved until the death of the lovers at the very end of the opera. The aesthetic goal of this compositional choice is to evoke longing by constantly bringing the music close to a resolution which is then denied.